CharyJay

“If the Magic’s in the Makeup…

then who am I?” (From No Doubt’s song “Magic’s in the Make-Up”)

Believe it or not, I was never a “girly, girl.” I chose kicks over heals, sweats over dresses and eye-catching graphic tees over blouses/tops. Before I went natural, my everyday routine took about 15 minutes tops. It consisted of matching the colors in my tee with my kicks, and slipping into a pair of fitted, distressed dark blue, bootleg denim jeans. Choosing my accessories was just as easy. Owning a handful of silver and gold hoops and an array of studs never made it much of a debate on what to adorn my ears with. Fuck a bracelet and a necklace – that was enough. The only make-up that I did own was mascara and lip-gloss. Nothing else nothing more.

I was actually obsessed with fitted hats and outerwear at the time.

In fact, I felt (at the time) that make-up was only for high-maintenance women. I personally felt it was a waste of time. Why spend all that money and time on something that you just have to take off every night? “What’s wrong with revealing the real you to the world,” I secretly asked to every woman caked up, who crossed paths with me.

That all changed once I decided to transition. As I stalked my favorite blogs, CurlyNikki and BGLH, I noticed just about every woman who was rocking their gorgeous natural hair, also had a flawless face adorned with make-up. After seeing more than a dozen pictures of these “natural hair style icons,” I was under the impression that going natural and wearing make-up came hand in hand. I was bit frightened! Not only did I have to learn how to wear my hair in its natural state, but I also had to learn how to apply and wear make-up too? As if going natural alone wasn’t hard enough!

Well that settled it. For my first shopping trip to cop my sulfate free shampoo, wide toothcomb and organic products, I also ventured over to unknown territory or the make-up aisles. There in the sea of hundreds of products that promised the same exact thing, I scoped out and collected brushes, pencils and eye shadows to begin (unbeknownst to me,) my make-up craze.

My sister bought me the Sephora BlockBuster Pallete for my 24th birthday

I admit, my first couple… hundred looks were pretty disastrous, but hey, this was all new to me!

Fast-forward to a year later and I’m kind of getting the hang of it, but other people’s comments led me to question if wearing make-up was a good or bad thing to “give into.”

After sporting a few colorful eye shadow looks in my videos, I begin to get comments like this: “Chary you look so beautiful in this video, keep it up girl!” Chary, your skin looks flawless! What is your secret?” And the unforgettable, “Chary you’ve been looking great lately! Did you find you a man or something? Lol”

Although I wanted to take all of the comments as compliments, it caught me off guard. I didn’t understand how make-up could transform someone from being cute and pretty (as I was always accustom to being called in my pre-makeup days), to now, beautiful, glamorous and sometimes, sexy. What the hell? I was still the same person on the inside; I just had a splash of color on my eyes, cheeks and lips. Does it really transforms so much? Even the way that I’m perceived?

Blinded by the comments and bit by the make-up bug, I started to feel that I was required to wear make-up in all of my videos. “What if I do this video with a fresh face? Will people begin to feel as though I’m not attractive? Well, who the hell cares, this is me!” Yes, I was literally fighting with myself on the issue. It was sad. And as a result, I began to hate make-up all over again.

Me, with a fresh face, sans make-up.

But then I learned to just relax. It was my decision on whether or not I wanted to take a half hour out of my day to devote to putting on concealer, press powder, strokes of eye pencil(s), liner, shadow, mascara and blush on my face. To be completely honest, I still feel like it’s a waste of time, but it’s fun! When it became a job or necessity, that’s when I begin to resent it.

But to answer my own question, (or No Doubt’s question, rather) I don’t feel like the magic is in the make-up. I feel like the magic is in me and the make-up accentuates the beauty that is already there. I’m still the same person regardless if I’m wearing anything on my face, body and or hair. I just hope everyone who seems me realizes that as well.